I didn’t have one date during my 49th year of life, but now that I’m 50, it’s time to dust off the dancing shoes and get back out there. As I am trying to think of ways to wade into the dating pool, I started to think about the dating scene after 50. It doesn’t look like the dating scene at 40 and not even at 30 and certainly not 20! Not only doesn’t it look the same, it doesn’t feel same with new rules and new ways of connecting.
Long gone are the days when the men are fit, trim and have hair on their heads. Okay, some might have all three of those things, but let’s face it, the dating pool is thinner and the men aren’t. From what I can see, men fall into a few categories. There are the men who are very ‘athletic’, which means they run and bike and only eat carbs, rarely drink and get up super early every single weekend. Then you have the guys who have let themselves go, but think they still look hot. These are guys who slobber on you and are generally just sloppy (reminds me of my dogs). And, finally you have the guys who are busy looking for the next younger thing.
It’s not easy to be dating at this age, and it sometimes feel like the good ones get snapped up very quickly, but if you are dipping your toes into the dating pond like me, here are some tips that are helping me get back in the dating scene after 50!
Tips to Getting Back in the Dating Scene After 50
- Think about a style revamp before getting back out there. Perking yourself up with a new a new cut and color, some paint on your nails and toes a new outfit or two is a great way to feel better about yourself and also put forward a wonderful impression. Remember, just like in job interviews, first impressions are everything, so put your best foot forward because some new style goes a long way in the dating world!
- Before jumping online to date, tell your friends and family and see if they have any singles that want to mingle. Comfort is key when venturing out again after being in a committed and comfortable relationship for so long, so don’t just throw yourself out there without feeling like you don’t have a safety net. If they don’t have anyone for you, then join some local clubs or take some lessons. Dance lessons, bridge clubs, walking groups, museum or art classes, cooking classes are great ways to meet others who might be looking to meet nice single people as well. And, start out slow with a cup of coffee or a glass of wine, remember, the clock isn’t ticking and you don’t have to rush to find someone.
- If you do go the online route, try some of the niche dating sites that cater to people who have similar life circumstances that you have. Whether you are a widow, divorcee or are a senior or even a cougar. Don’t put yourself in a box, but at the same time, weeding through the matches at a large site such as Match.com can become frustrating or tiring, so make it easy on yourself. When putting up a picture, make sure you use a picture that shows who you are! Put up several, and one that is a close up of your face. Be honest in your description and explain exactly what you are looking for. Remember, you don’t have to go out with everyone who asks, so only accept those dates you are interested in!
- Safety is key now that you are back on the dating scene! No matter which route you take to find the dates, be sure to follow some simple rules when dating. Always take your cell phone and make sure it is charged, don’t give out your home address unless you know the person you are going out with, tell a friend or one of your children where you are going to be and who you are going with, and don’t go back to their house on a first date!
- Just have fun. Don’t look at your date as a date, an interview or even as a big night out. Just as a new possible friendship. If it turns into more than that, great, but if not, the worst thing that happens is that you have a new friend, and we can never have enough friends. This takes away the nervousness and also makes it less important and you will be more relaxed and be more open and honest when you are meeting with fewer expectations!
- Be Patient. Remember when I said dating wasn’t like it used to be? Gone are the days of phone calls and doorbells ringing. In today’s world, it’s all about the text message, googling the date beforehand, and meeting them out. It can take some getting used to, but if they are a dud, then ending things with a text is easier than with a call.
I’ll let you know if any of these work for me and you let me know if any of them work for you too!
Other Resources on This Topic:
These are the New Deal Breakers for Singles Over 50
Dating in your 50’s – Easy for Men, Not so Much for Women
- Sex With the Ex – Smart or Crazy? - September 12, 2018
- The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly of Online Dating and How to Tell the Difference - August 21, 2018
- 8 Lessons Learned from Online Dating - August 13, 2018