You’re gorgeous, do you know that? Both inside and out, I know that, but just in case you don’t, I’m going to let you in on a little secret. Knowing that yourself, that’s called self love. The beauty of self love is that it’s unconditional love, just like the love we show for our kids. It’s the love and kindness you show yourself because you only have one life. One life in which to make your mark on the world in some way. Equally as important as making a mark in life or leaving a meaningful legacy is your own health and well-being and self love plays a tremendously important role there as you age.
The Beauty of Self Love
You watch your kids grow up, your physical self ages, you are not the version of your younger self any longer, you’re an older, wiser version. And yet with that wisdom and time, you continue to burden yourself with ideals of your younger self, the younger, skinnier, prettier, funnier, party gal version of yourself. She is still inside you, but perhaps now has more life responsibilities. The beauty of self love is accepting yourself as you are, right now in this moment. You can only do that if you let go of your younger ideals and replace them with new ideals. Ideals that are applicable to who you are now, and what you want in the future. What do they look like? What can you accept about yourself now that can bring you closer to self love?
My Real World Example of a Journey to Self Love
We all have our own individual journeys on the path to self love and I’ll share my own real world example. I’m no longer the sporty figure I was back in the day, I have curves, and I love them, they are me. I wear the clothes I want, the clothes that work best for me, and the clothes that make me happy and feel amazing. I have courage to take action on scary stuff, but that doesn’t mean it’s not bloody scary at the time. I have strong opinions, I voice them, some people don’t like them, I love that about me. I know stuff, and sometimes that intimidates people, but I’ve worked hard to cultivate that knowledge over the years and am super proud of it. I will not apologise nor play dumb to appease the insecurities of others. I love who I am, and how I show up each day in my life, my one and only life. It’s the only one I get, and I’m committed to making the most of it.
How Self Love Changes With Age
The thing about self love is that it changes along with us. The really cool thing is that once you get there, and you accept and love yourself for who and what you are, that self love doesn’t diminish with age. it grows wiser. It radiates more and more each day, steering you in the direction of life that is your purpose. And it will guide you, if you let it. Self love also allows your love for others to deepen even more than it already is. Acceptance of yourself (and what you previously perceived as your flaws) allows you to also accept that in others, and use that love to guide and encourage them in their purpose.
I’m not denying that getting to a point where you understand the importance of self love and commit to that mindset that it’s not a difficult thing to do—it’s darn hard! Self love doesn’t get taught in school, and it’s not generally something that is passed down through the generations, it’s something that grows as you grow and that evolves with you. Most importantly, self love is the greatest gift you can give to yourself and others that you love. As you might imagine, self love doesn’t happen overnight. It is something you have to work on every single day. You take deep breaths and little steps of courage along the path to self acceptance.
Self Love: The Path of Despair is Often How You Get There
So how did I get to this point in my life where self love is my norm instead of a quest? How have I managed to accept who I am and how do I show up in the world each day? Well it didn’t happen overnight, I can tell you that. Equally as important as knowing that self love doesn’t happen overnight is realizing that the way you get there is often by walking the path of despair.
My point of despair was, in fact, my turning point. I reached a point of despair reflecting on what my life had become and who I as in it. I realized that it wasn’t enough, it wasn’t fulfilling, and it did not feel like the “real me.” You might even call my path of despair a midlife crisis, but whatever it was, it steered me on the right path. I channelled the real me and made decisions from that place. Each decision I made gave me the courage to make more decisions, the courage gave me the confidence to be the real me. And, the rest is history. That turning point happened because I was on the path of despair. And that path of despair set me on the road to self love.
Your mind is your worst enemy when it comes to self love, those negative thoughts that plague you constantly. If you let them, those negative thoughts never, ever let up and they will, most assuredly, sabotage your progress towards self love. There are techniques you can use to overcome this, and I’ll cover that in a separate post. What I do know to be true when it comes to self love is this:
You are worth it, even when that negative self talk takes over, it’s just a thought, it has no meaning, it’s not real. Let it go.
Let yourself love who you are…. it’s a journey it will take time, but the journey and the destination are so worth it.
Cheers to your self love. And I hope to see you over here again, we’ve got tons to talk about!
Other Resources on this Topic:
15 Things You Must Do For Yourself When You Turn 50
What Self Love Means: 20+ Ways to Be Good to Yourself
Self Love Must Come First: How to Love Yourself
- The Beauty of Self Love — Your Path to Happiness Starts Here - May 31, 2018